Posts Tagged ‘fear’

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The Gospel

June 13, 2011
The Gospel is not some pithy catch phrase to gloss over our lives and make them whitewashed with goodness.  The Gospel isn’t some bumper sticker we place on our car as we join a club.  Instead, the Gospel is an invading force of light that penetrates every pore of our being until we ourselves become light so all the world might see.  It is my greatest pursuit that more of Jesus live in me today than yesterday.  That is only made possible by the provision of the Gospel.  You see, I use to SAY I believe, like some still do, but then live our lives as if the Gospel has no power.  It doesn’t.  Not in a life that believes but doesn’t embrace.  One of the scariest verses in the Bible for me is James 2:19- “You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder.”  What is this faith then, that saves us?  It is the faith that chooses to allow Christ to transform us by HIS grace and not by our own attempts.  From death to life.  From darkness to light. From brokeness to wholeness.  From sinful to holy.  All made possible by the Gospel by which we live:  Christ lived perfect, died a sinner’s death, rose to life, and ascended into Heaven.  It’s simple… yet simply life altering.For me, the Gospel is everything.  It not only saves my soul from hell, but gives me everything I need for life and godliness.  When famine comes, it is my sustenance. When doubt comes, it is my truth. When fear comes, it is my peace.  I know that in the Gospel, I am nothing, but Christ in me is everything.  What a relief!  What a joy!  What a promise!

Sometimes I am scared at the reality of the Gospel.  As a believer I skim over the grotesque nature of sin so that I can live a comfortable life, not consumed with the depravity of others in order to penetrate my light in a way that will lead them away from darkness.  The questions we are faced with today with the ever-increasing wickedness around, the dissolution of morality, the severity of sickness and catastrophe;  I don’t have the answers for, so I often remain silent.  I excuse my responsibility by thinking “I don’t know the Bible enough, I don’t know their situation enough, I don’t want to damage our relationships.”

Well, the real only foolish thing is to remain silent on the one thing I do know.  Christ is life.  What that means in the places of sickness and poverty, I wish it could magically erase these devastations now (it will some day when Christ returns!).  But I am learning that the hope of the Gospel, the transforming nature of the Creator working in the lives of the believers; is available for anyone, even an awful sinner like me.  It’s not for the faint of heart, but for the brave.  It meets all of us where we are at and gives us the hope and purpose for it all … the good and the bad.  For the adventure He has me on takes me to uncomfortable places within my self and within the world.

The Gospel is not some pity catch phrase to gloss over our lives and make them whitewashed with goodness.  The Gospel is to die to myself so that others might live.  The Gospel gives me life… the Gospel is my life.  He died so I might live… and the life I live, I live by faith in Jesus Christ so others might live.  Yes, it’s sloppy.  No, I am not perfect.  But I desire to be changed from the inside out.  No whitewashed tomb here… just an overhaul in process…. thanks to the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

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Faith Walk of Motherhood

February 23, 2010

So, just this last week in one of my moments of reflection, God reminded me of specific prayers I have prayed along this journey.  In my singleness I prayed, “God, if I will be more fruitful for Your kingdom single rather than married, then help me to be content in You in my singleness.  If I will be more fruitful married, than show me the man You have for me in Your time.”  Jason is the answer to that prayer and every day I stand more in awe of God’s perfect provision for me for a husband.  God answers prayer.

Then, as we began to talk about the possibility of “starting a family” I prayed, “God, if Jason and I will be more fruitful for Your kingdom without children, please make me like Rachael (barren).  If we will be more fruitful for Your kingdom with children, please make me like Leah (fruitful womb).”  Just a couple weeks later I starred at a positive pregnancy test.

It is interesting though, as I walked the park this week in reflection, how I expected God more so to keep me single or make me barren.  It seems, in my case, it takes me more faith to enter into these seasons than it would if God kept me from them.

Today on my morning walk I thought about some significant turning points in my life and relationship with Him.  I realized that at every defining moment, when I could not see through the fog at the beautiful landscape He prepared ahead of me, that I needed to surrender my current understanding of the path before me – in order to follow the path He would reveal.  The thought came to me as I spoke it out loud in realization, “In order to enter into the plans God has for me, I have to surrender the plans I have more myself.”  WOW.  So true.  Like a picture book quickly flipped on its edges, flashes of awesome memories came flooding through my mind, coupled with what I surrendered to enter into those blessings.

Surrendering my druggy friends in highschool, starting a relationship with God.

Surrendering my brokenness in college, experiencing His healing touch.

Surrendering a high profile career, entering ministry.

Surrendering a dating relationship with the person I planned to marry, meeting Jason- the guy God planned for me to marry.

Surrendering working in Special Events, which was my life- stepping into global outreach, where I have discovered my life-long calling.

So now… as I step out in faith in the brink of motherhood… I don’t know what to expect.  What His plan is for our family- or even the life of the little guy living inside of me.  Yet looking back I can see, that simple acceptance with joy will allow me to enter into His blessing rather than hold onto my my perception of what should be.  His way ALWAYS exceeds my expectations anyway… no matter how arduous the journey.  How sweet it is to trust in Jesus.  How sweet it is to surrender.  His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

Thank you God for never letting me go!

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Seeing the miracle!

December 12, 2009

I struggled throughout the day yesterday. A long list of “to dos” at work jabbed words of demand, “I need to get done!” By the afternoon, I just sat in the cubicle and cried. How am I ever going to succeed in working at home, taking care of the baby, and managing the household? It is to much, Lord. It is too much.

After dinner last night I took out the laptop and wrote list upon list and schedule upon schedule to tame the wild beast of anxiety. By the time I went to bed at midnight, my to dos found no place in my dreams. Then… I woke up this morning!

As I turned to the Book of Matthew for a few words of wisdom before heading out the door, I read a familiar verse that brought a refreshing peace.

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden in light.

It is simple and yet complex. I allow the yoke of my circumstances and fears to weigh me down with a load not easy to bear, crushing my spirit every step I try to take. How, oh Lord, do I yoke myself to you? I desire to rest and learn from you, yet life still increases its demands.

The Spirit answers in His still small voice. You let go. You let go of control and give me complete trust. You let go of your understanding and let me direct your path. You let go of your pride of accomplishment and allow me to accomplish My will in your life. How do you yoke yourself to me? You let go of you and hold onto me.

Then I headed out the door to a sonogram appointment. WOW! The further along I get in the pregnancy, the more spectacular it becomes. I saw our little man playing with his arms, moving his head, and even witnessed a series of hiccups (and felt them too)! The miracle I watched shed aside all fears and doubts. For a few moments I glimpsed God’s work, His masterpiece. So, I still don’t know how it will all pan out, how hard it will be or if I will be able to handle the job on top of all my other jobs in life, but my heart knows in this moment, yoked to Christ, it will be fantastic!

So, my dear friend in Christ, let us both learn to LET GO of the mirage of control and walk through with Jesus. We still face the fields of fear and the work still needs to be accomplished, but no longer is it up to us. We walk in His peace.