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A Year with Kavin in Review

March 23, 2011

It has been a while since I have wrttien publicly.  Just needed a break to allow God to work in me in the quiet places of my heart.  Although I am still in the thick of this private journey of transformation in this season, an awesome experience happened today that I must share with those of you who cared enough to pray us through the firey ordeal almost a year ago.

———-

So, Kavin had a scheduled special xray for his diaphragm at the Kaiser hospital on Sunset, where he spent the first month of his life.  I honestly did not want to go today.  Not because it jarred us out of his normal nap routine, but because it shook me back to a place of remembrance.  I started crying this morning even before we lef the house.  Mixed emotions.  Mostly grateful, but some I can’t even explain. Like going back to the that place somehow hit a bruised part of my soul.  It hurt.

I rushed out of the house to make the 9am appointment.  Rush hour traffic, no fun.  One the way down I prayed and listened to the Christian station to try to get focused for the day.  As I pulled up and drove into the parking structure for the hospital, the Spirit nudged in the way He does,  “don’t see this place as a negative thing.  This place is like an alter of remembrance, a celebration pillar of what I have done.”  Peace.  The same cloud of peace that carried us through those tough uncertain weeks washed over me.

We made our way to the appointment and were attended to by an Indian middleaged man, who was a bit ackward and shy at first.  However, Kavin’s smile and scrambled words quickly got him out of his shell.  We chit chatted throughout the procedure and as he walked me out to the waiting room again, our conversation turned serious.  He opened up to me about the desires of his heart and about the gal that he is living with.  I encouraged him to do what would be most pleasing to God and He would reward and guide him.

During the video x-ray, called a florascopy, the radiologist said that Kavin’s diaphragm looks like it is working well, praise the Lord!  A layer of relief and weight lifted from my heart that I didn’t even know I carried.  Thank You, Jesus.

The picture the surgeon sent us on 4.12.10

I decided to get a cup of coffee on the way back to the car.  As I walked up to the line, I noticed one of the attending surgeons for Kavin was in line in front of me!  What?  Of all the times he could come to the coffee stand!  I was so jazzed to show him Kavin and what a joy our baby boy is.  We enjoyed talking about the goodness of life and our miracle.  He ended up buying me my coffee and we greeted eachother with the “best” for the future.

As I walked back to the car with my squirmy and fussy bundle of joy (it was passed his nap time), I just spilled over the brim with gratitude that the Lord really made my “pillar of remembrance” trip into a sweet time of encouragment and healing.

The last couple weeks I have been reflecting on how much life has changed since Kavin… how much I am changing as a woman of God.  I really am a different person, being transformed from the inside out.  And I love it.  I love the woman God is creating in me.  One who is more focused on relationships rather than tasks; I am becoming a woman of perseverance rather than immediate gratification (can we say laundry? lol); my prayer life is deepening as I go about my daily “automatic” duties; I am learning my value is not in WHAT I do, but in my relationship with Christ.  Most of all, I am learning to be a servant in everything.  I thought I was.  Now I realize, I have a lot to learn yet.  When life is spent and all is said and done, I am learning that I want to say, “I followed Christ every step of the way.”  From the international fields… to the mission of the home… and what ever else God leads me to.

This year has been what seems like the most difficult year for me.  Transitioning from public ministry and working in my administrative gifts to day in and day out serving in the home- has been a journey of surrender, and yet still surrendering more.  Sometimes kicking and screaming like a two-year-old before the Lord.

This year has changed me… and I like the woman I am becoming.  Being humbled is hurtful, but in the end, I will be a vessle ready for the smith.

Thank you for praying with me and for us this past year.  Your prayers have made all the difference. AMEN!

Day at the LA Zoo- March 2011

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6 comments

  1. Oh Seana, this is beautiful!!! I am so proud of the young woman you have become. It is such a joy to see how you have matured in being a special wife and a super mom!! I love you,
    Cecelia


  2. Thanks for sharing your heart and giving a testimony to God’s faithfulness then and now!


  3. Seana… Every time I read your writings, my heart is always touched. You are always so eloquent. You are always so willing to share the deepest part of your heart, and to me this is precious… I have known you for a long time and your maturity has always amazed me. I am so proud of the woman, wife, mother and Godly christian woman that you have become. I love you, Joni


  4. Dear Seana,
    As Kavin’s first birthday looms about a little over a week away, I am awed at what the LORD has and is doing in your life.
    He has revealed Himself to you (and Jason) in a mighty and personal way. I always thought of you as a beautiful servant of the Lord–in all your work with Paula, and then in the Missions Ministry–you have demonstrated strength and grace. You have also been a great Prayer Warrior believing and trusting in its power.
    But when the greatest trial came, you were so gracious as your family walked through the fire. The Lord was with you every step of the way, and you shared your testimony of His love and mercy with us as it was happening.
    I remember back in a Life Group some things you said about your father…and I know he would be so proud of you today.
    I praise the LORD that Kavin is continuing to be in good health after all he has been through. I thank God that He provided great doctor’s and a caring hospital for his needs.
    Please know that I am grateful that you are sharing your journey of faith.
    A sister in Christ,
    laura l. wroten


  5. Seana, once again you have blessed my heart. It is a joy knowing you and knowing how much you want to serve our Precious Lord. I am so grateful to see how you strive to be the woman/mother God created you to be. You will be such an example to so many. Love you, Euvila


  6. Thank you for the encouraging notes! THey bless my heart!!



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