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Apron of Servitude

August 28, 2010

I walked along the beach, sandals in one hand and the Bible in the other. It’s been a long time since I strolled alone with Jesus on the seashore. I miss these days.

My heart full of fussiness, tangled in with frustration, selfishness, and pride like a ball of jumbled Christmas lights. “Where do I begin?” I asked the Lord. “Just talk.” The prompting of the Spirit within me said.

Boy did I talk, and talk, and talk. Every word made me start to feel somewhat sane again.

“Lord, I know you already know what is in my heart, so let’s just be real,” I said out loud. Passers by may have thought I was talking to myself, but I didn’t care. I’m not crazy. He is alive.

“I know that You have led me to stay home to take care of the family and to write. None of which I am any good at following through. I abhor housework, cooking is a chore, and every time I think about writing ‘the book’ I feel like a sixth grader having to write a report. I don’t know where to start, what to do, and like the deadline was a week ago. Lord, I am undone. Frazzled at all edges. I want to have joy in what you have called me to do.”

I looked up and on the brink of the cliff stood a beautiful home, cape cod style, but painted burnt ember with a stone chimney and an inviting deck. I imagined the inside decorated cottage style with mishmash of patterns that somehow meld together into a calming and therapeutic atmosphere. Drinking tea with the windows open, reading a good book or dosing off to take a nap.

“That is what I want, Lord. A break. Even if just for a day.”

“I am your rest,” the Spirit responded. “Take My yoke on you for My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

“Yes. I know that, Lord. But how? How do I find joy in the mundane? How do I yield to you instead of living for myself? I know what the secret is, but HOW?”

“Every day you wake up in the morning, before you even get out of bed, put on your apron of servitude. In order to be My disciple, you must die to yourself and serve. It is not about you anymore. You no longer live for yourself, but for Me. I may lead you to housework all day or I may lead you to serve the church, or help someone in need, or bless you with a day to pamper yourself. The important thing to remember is whatever I lead you to do… you are a servant. No more. You are the least. No greater. Remember to wear your apron wherever you go.”

Wow. My apron of servitude. Okay, Lord. Thank You for reminding me. I am no greater than a servant.

The next morning I woke up for the early feeding, 5:00am. As I forced my eyes to peel open, I remembered to put on the apron. “I am no greater than a servant,” I told myself as I shuffled my way to the baby’s room.

Throughout the day as I tidied the house, made plans for dinner, even talked with others, the Spirit constantly reminded me that I am no greater than a servant if I want to follow Christ. For He “came not to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)

A few days later, a dear friend stopped by the house. “I found something for you at Anthropologie,” she said. I opened the brown box tied with red ribbon and pulled out a beautiful, feminine, apron. My heart skipped, “My apron of servitude!”

I tear up at the Lord’s thoughtfulness. Yes. This lesson is from Him. Wear my apron of servitude and remember, no matter where I go, I am in service for the King. That focus brings abundant joy… even when I am scrubbing the toilets.

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