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Diamonds in the Rough

March 16, 2010

I have been avoiding writing posts.  Not because I don’t like to write.  I am a writer at heart and writing is what I do.  I just don’t really like what I have to say right now.  I would love to report that my heart is all a flutter at the wonder of this new season; that I can’t wait until the little guy comes.  Yes.  There are parts of me that feel that way.  Then there are other parts.  Other parts that don’t like change and new seasons, especially when this current season is painted with many joys and blessings.  My dreams come true, or so it seems.

As I seek the Lord, He reminds me, once again, that in order to enter into the plans He has prepared for me, I must let go of the plans I have prepared for myself.  “But they are good plans!” I retort.  “Yes, but my plans are the best.” He tenderly replies.

Yesterday I confined my mind into a rut; a rough, dark, yucky rut; and I stewed in this rut all day.  Until I saw the diamonds.

A few months before Jason and I started dating, I ended a relationship with a man that I planned to marry (here we go again with my plans).  OH MY!  What turmoil I experienced as God clearly showed me the guy was not in His plan. Knowing that marriage is definitely something that needs to be appointed by Jesus, I literally said “no” to a beautiful diamond ring.  My dream starred me in the face and God said, “no”.

About a month after that “no”, I traveled to Europe.  I visited family and a few missionaries in Austria, then ventured off on my own with the Lover of My Soul to one of the most romantic places on earth: Venice, Italy.  One afternoon I took a water taxi from a small island off the coast back to Saint Mark’s Square.  As the sun set on the ocean water, light glistened off the surface like millions of diamonds.  God’s still small voice said, “You surrendered one diamond for Me.  I have all the diamonds in the world for you to enjoy.”

Fast forward six years.  I now am married to the man of my dreams who is worth more than a million diamonds to me.  The Lord has shown me more of His goodness and allowed me to see Him move in places on the earth I never imagined I would see.  Yes.  His promise is true.  He has given me all the diamonds in the world.

So, as I stewed in my rough spot yesterday, once again gripping onto the past, afraid to let go to walk into the plans God has prepared, Jason invited me to go to Balboa Park, a beautiful public park with rolling green hills and a calming lake.  I enjoyed walking along the path at the water’s edge and clearing my mind; just talking to the Lord like a crazy person (seriously, who talks to “themselves” in public).  At the end of my walk, I sat on a bench overlooking the water.  The sun started setting… and there they were.  Millions of diamonds shimmering right in front of me.

“Remember the diamonds,” I heard the Spirit speak in my heart.  “You may be letting go of a few, but I have all the diamonds in the world for you to enjoy.”

Every time God asks me to surrender something precious in my sight, He faithfully replaces it with peace, joy, and blessings that I would not even know to ask for. Yet, like a little child, I often throw a temper tantrum before I allow myself to surrender to Him in trust.  Yet, I know… He is the creator and provider of all the diamonds life will bring.

So, when people ask me, “how are you doing?  Aren’t you so excited?”  I smile and nod a simple, “yes.”  Even though it is hard to say goodbye to yesterday, the promises of tomorrow bring sparkling hope.

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2 comments

  1. My dearest Seana…. I have just read “Diamonds in the Rough”. I am sitting here with tears running down my cheeks. What an insight of God’s love.!!! You have expressed it so beautifully. What a testimony you are of a Godly Woman with such an intense faith and love for our Lord Jesus Christ. You have been a blessing to me since the first day I met you and I love you with all of my heart. I am here for you in any way you may need. I am praying without ceasing for Baby Kavin, for you and for Jason. You are close in my heart. Psalm 89.5 All heaven will praise your miracles, Lord; myriads of angels will praise you for your faithfulness. GOD BLESS! Love, Joni


  2. Woman! I love what I just read. You have always been an amazing person who continually seeks out the Lords will. I’m praying for you, Jason and your baby. I love and miss you!

    April



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